Why did this happen to me? Why not somebody else? Why did I not act differently? Do these questions sound familiar to you? Unfortunately, dwelling on them doesn’t change your situation: bad things happen, and sometimes they happen to you. It’s natural to feel frustrated, especially if you’ve done everything in your power to prevent them. But once the deed is done, these questions lose their relevance.
Take the case of Steve Jobs: in 1985, Steve was forced out of Apple, the very company he co-founded. He could have spent years dwelling on the injustice of it all, but instead, he accepted reality and moved forward. He founded NeXT and Pixar, two companies that would revolutionize tech and entertainment. In a full-circle moment, Apple acquired NeXT in 1997, bringing Jobs back as CEO. Had he stayed stuck in resentment, he might never have orchestrated Apple’s greatest comeback.
Or think of Tom Brady who was the 199th pick in the 2000 NFL Draft, meaning 198 players were chosen before him! He could have focused on how unfair it was, but instead, he embraced reality and worked harder than anyone else. Over time, he proved his worth, leading the New England Patriots to six Super Bowl wins before capturing his seventh with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Brady’s success wasn’t about lamenting the past – it was about controlling his response to it.
There’s nothing wrong with a healthy dose of self-pity, but it’s equally essential to accept the reality of the situation: the job is lost, the relationship ended. Once you do this, you can start focusing on what you can control – your response to the situation. Instead of lamenting what could have been, you can channel your energy into finding solutions and moving forward. It’s not about denying the disappointment or frustration; it’s about acknowledging it and then taking proactive steps to address it.
In life, things don’t always go as planned. But rather than getting stuck in the why’s and if’s, it’s more productive to accept the reality of the situation and focus on how you can adapt and overcome. After all, it is what it is, and the only way forward is through acceptance and action.
